Tuesday, January 22, 2008

yoga practice. not yoga perfect.


Dear Blog,

I think we all know that I love me some yoga for several reasons; it is a mental and physical exercise, you are in competition only with yourself on the mat, it detoxes all the nasty stuff out of your body, it reduces stress which in essence got rid of my hand ecxema which no dermatologist could ever seem to do and it makes me skinny. (side note, who in the heck has ecxema when they're 27 years old? Don't only kids have that?? A big thank you to yoga for helping mine clear up because that shizzle is nasty for reals!!)

So, this is my thought process as I am preparing for my 90 minutes of pure sweat, breathing, accelerated heartbeats and let's be honest, mild cursing at the instructor for making us do a million chatarangas.

Mind you the following is what goes through my head while I'm preparing for yooooooggggaaaaaa.

Alison to self: "Ahhhh, I'm so glad I came to yoga tonight. I'm going to feel so awesome when I leave. I'm going to be all zen and in tune with what REALLY matters and I'm totally going to have a 6 pack by summer. Just remember Alison, when it gets too hard just remember to keep breathing and focus. Keep your eyes on the prize girlfriend. Killer abs, clear brain and a firm butt. I love yoga, la la la la la.

Wait a minute. What? Who brings a Chanel bag to the yoga studio? Is that real? Yep, that's real. Seriously woman, can't you lock that up in the car instead of making the rest of the fellow yogis jealous? And, who wears Van Cleef & Arpel earrings to practice hot, sweaty yoga in? I hate you. Oh, no one else is looking at that women. No one else cares. Only me."

Clearly, I need a lot more time on the mat.

xoxo,
Alison

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yip, back to the mat for you young lady. You should try and go to my yoga class,TJMaxx and Target at best. Some attire that needs to be a good dust cloth!! I feel right at home or maybe even a little "uptown!" Mooey

Anonymous said...

Yoga makes me frown.

Anonymous said...

yoga would totally kick my booty!

Drew said...

yogis? is that what yoga people are called?