Dear Blog,
Ahhhh what to say, what to say? One thing I do want to say is I am HIGHLY disappointed in the amount of comments I've been receiving as of late. I blog for my fans, not for myself. Blogging is a selfless activity, remember that. So, your challenge is this, leave a comment for goodness sake. A couple of people have said, "Al...we're not cool enough to write on your blog" And my answer is this, not commenting makes you LESS COOL. So there. Bitch.
Since fall is rapidly approaching and peeps are busting out their fall best, I thought I'd write in 10 things in your wardrobe that maybe you should retire...and I'll probably write in a few things that I just DON'T like regardless of the season. Remember, this is my opinion. If you wear some of the things I write about then you can do two things. Stop reading the blog because I've hurt your feelings OR you can stop looking ridic. Because you do.
1. Acrylic Nails Aaaaaaaaaahhhh!! I hate these! Guess what? They don't look real. Opt for a nice manicure.
2. Chunky heeled boots. Remember those boots you bought about 7 years ago...they canNOT pass for stylish or even mediocre in today's work/fun environment. Retire them. Don't think you can put them on and just slide by unnoticed. You can't. There are people like me out there who will notice and shake their head in disdain.
3. Dress pants for women paired with a loafer. Flats and dress pants=stumpy legs. Enough said.
4. Micro fiber dress pants that we all bought from The Limited at one point...AHHHHH!! CODE RED! CODE RED! Run away screaming from those things!!!
5. Any sort of camoflage themed pant, skirt, shirt. Burn it, or go outside and shoot it. I don't care. Just don't wear it out and think you're cute.
6. Those black pointy knee high boots paired with a skirt. Commonly referred to as f**k me boots...there is a reason for that. You look like a 2 dollar harlot.
7. Tights/hose with a hole or run in them. Obvy.
8. Chipped fingernail polish...have some respect for yourself for goodness sake.
9. Chandelier earrings. I mean...these are okay but look a little dated.
10. Sweaters that are pilled, ick. An easy way to make your clothes look older.
The end.
Maybe next week I will write in 10 things I love about you!
xoxo,
Al
P.S Does anyone else think J Wahl is looking pretty cute these days? And that Heidi looks like a horse?? Cause, I do.
13 comments:
lol! I think you just described every article of clothing in my closet. Well except for the hooker boots. Hmm no never mind. Courtney did all she could with the designer jeans. I think someone should nominate me for What Not to Wear!
Al~
Question. Are you saying that tall FMB's are completely out? Even the ones without pointed toes?
No, they're not totally out. Good question Cheri. Just get an updated pair...Banana Republic and J Crew have really cute ones.
weren't you wearing those when we met?
that's how i picked you up isn't it?? ohhhh....
Alison, what about the male contingency? Do we get fashion advice, or is just more v-neck tees and chuck taylors?
ahahhahahaaaaaaa - the Limited microfiber pants! Truer words were never spoken. I always thought those were so lame, esp. since they never made them long enough for me. In fact, don't ya think "anything from the Limited" should be on your list?
- kate
comment comment comment
hater, that's cool...a comment is a comment. that's all i axe. next time let's go for a little more depth.
cherry is concerned about her boot wardrobe clearly
damn hater took my idea. Comment. And or poop
paul, poop is equally appropriate
My wardrobe is screwed!
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