Wednesday, March 4, 2009

AliRon Shurts

Dear Blog,

Aaron and I always joke around about baby names, we already have our daughter's name picked out and I've probably told all of you that read this blog but I don't want to share with the world wide web because that seems wrong. And no, I'm not pregnant but I do seem to blog about it often don't I? I need to stop doing that. Having babay's is not my thing, not at this moment anyway. Wow, I really steered off course with that one. So, we've joked about combining our names, Alison and Aaron, to AliRon! It could be a boy's name or a girl's name, how convenient is that? Too convenient if you ask me, like, it's almost tempting.

However, I feel like this name combining has gone too far. And now I'm going to take it back to facebook. Since now everyone and their mom now has a facebook account several married couples have gone to such lengths to create a joint account. I can see the conversation now;

Wife: "Honey, all my friends at work have something called 'the facebook' and they say I should join because I can stay in touch with all of my friends from elementary school, who weren't really my friends but I just want to see if they've gotten fat over the past 20 years, and I can throw fake water balloons at people, and I can even save the earth with somethin' called the Lil' Green Patch."

(editors note: all of my fake characters have deep southern accents)

Husband: "Um hm"

Wife: "Well, if I get on the facebook, I want you to get on the facebook too because I don't want any ONLINE PREDATORS predatating on me"

Husband: "Wife, is you crazy? I sit at work all day looking at a computer and I don't even remember anyone I went to grade school with, and we don't even RE-cycle why would I want to save the earth with some g$!@#$WSn lil green patch?"

Wife: "Well, hows about this? I'll create a JOINT account and that way it'll scare away all them online predators and I can still throw fake water balloons at my old friends."

So, you know the end of this story. Husband and Wife now combine their name and become AliRon Shurts that you can too can be friends with.

Now, my gripe is this. What if I'm friends with the wife and don't know the husband? Or, I don't like the husband? Or worse, I made out with the husband?!? I'm just sayin'. I see a combined account going all kinds a wrong.
"Why are you friends with your ex-girlfriend? You still LOVE her don't you? I knew it!"

"Why are you friends with your frenemy? You talk smack about her all the time, how can you be virtual friends with her? Just so you can make fun of her? You're a terrible person."

You see how wrong this could go? I say, take a stand for independence!

Besides you could always do what I do, just memorize the Ron's passwords so I can check up on his ass.

xoxo,
Alison

10 comments:

jcristg said...

Thank you for addressing this important topic. It's not like the accounts cost anything, and it ranks right up there with joint email accounts in terms of OBNOXIOUS.

(I have very strong feelings about the joint things. Be your own damn person for a change, you know?)

Anne Wolfe Postic said...

As I happily married woman, I agree joint things like the ones described are vile. I don't even like joint stationary - after all, you aren't both writing the letter. We don't even have joint checking accounts, really. We have two separate accounts and each of our names is on both, but I don't touch his and he doesn't touch mine. We do sometimes share dishes in restaurants, though.

Best,
Annie

BellaFrench said...

I also believe it is okay to share a bed as well.

Moo said...

I vote for RonDon for boy and RonDonna for girl:-)))

Anonymous said...

This post was super-classic Alison - dying laughing!

Anonymous said...

This post was super-classic Alison - dying laughing!

mollywarner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mollywarner said...

Comment deleted - me. Sorry. Embarrassing spelling mistake.

Original comment:

LOVE it. Seriously, you must know this by now: you have a writing career ready and waiting for you.

A bit distressed after realizing my blog stopped showing your blog. But now you're back on.

court said...

hi! i read your blog through Molly's! and she is right you are super talented. i especially love this post! my husband and i have also had the facebook conversation... except he uses mine to add all his friends, because he says he doesn't have time to get his own! too funny!

somebody said...

酒店經紀人,菲梵酒店經紀,酒店經紀,禮服酒店上班,酒店小姐,便服酒店經紀,酒店打工,酒店寒假打工,酒店經紀,酒店經紀,專業酒店經紀,合法酒店經紀,酒店暑假打工,酒店兼職,便服酒店工作,酒店打工經紀,制服酒店經紀,專業酒店經紀,合法酒店經紀,酒店暑假打工,酒店兼職,便服酒店工作,酒店打工,酒店經紀,制服酒店經紀,酒店經紀