Tuesday, October 30, 2007


insert a slower, melodic musical number here

Dear Blog,

Seriously, Aaron and I were in Seattle last week and he told me he loved me, and then I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship, and he said he would wait, but then he started to fall in love with my sister...Oh wait. That was this season's Grey's Anatomy, not my life.

My life is so boring compared to those on Grey's Anatomy. But I guess that's why it's tv. So, in reality, we did go to Seattle last week and still in reality, it was gorgeous! The weather was PERF, although it did rain one day and because I wanted to look cool I didn't bring an umbrella because Seattleites don't take umbrellas, obvy. They are TOTALLY used to the rain and their attitude is rain? what rain? while I am shuffling around trying to stay under the awnings. So, I still looked stupid. Darn. We stayed with our good friends Kris and Zoe and their two dogs Duke and Apple. They treated us well and thanks for letting us crash yo' pad.

Alright. Here's the big quest-i-on. I thought Halloween was supposed to be for dressing up..??? Or is it supposed to be for dressing up and looking like a two dollar harlot? When and where did the times change? Here's the sitch. We go with Kris and Zoe to a Halloween party and I'm so stoked about my costume. Who am I going to be you ask? Amy Winehouse. (if you don't know who that is, google exists for a reason) I chose this for several reasons, she's crazy looking, she's talented and this is a fairly low maintenance costume. I had to buy a beehive wig, some fake tats, some crud to make it look like I'm missing teeth and that's it. I had the skinny jeans, flats, wifebeater and liquid eyeliner. After I've already donned my AWESOME costume, and then I hear through the grapevine the party we are going to is a "SEXY" party? W.H.A.T.???? You have got to be kidding me? I do NOT look sexy. I look like I've been highballing coke and heroin for the past 7 days. So, we get to the party only to be greeted by half naked little 23 year olds who just blatantly stare at me.


Not only do they look at me and ask me why I am fully clothed, they ask me who the heck I am. They didn't even get my costume!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH, that's what I felt like doing for reals y'all. Since you know I like to reinact conversations here is one:

23 year old ho: "um...who let the drug addled bad hair chick in?"
Kris and Zoe: "Um, yeah...she's with me."
23 year old ho: Looking me up and down and down and up "oh....who is she supposed to be?"
Me: "I'm Amy Winehouse you cliched 'sexy cop.' DUH."

Needless to say we did not stay at the party long. But, we did appreciate the invite. :)

Tomorrow is Halloween and I might try the Amy Winehouse again.


Update coming soon!!

Dear blog,

I will be posting an update soon. Hopefully it will be good.


Monday, October 22, 2007


Dear Blog,

I know, I know, I've been a terrible friend lately but sometimes life happens and prevents me from blogging. And life, as it is, has really been a total draaaaaag lately and made me want to end it all. Okay, not really, life has made me want to wallow in a vat of red wine not have the hangovers and eat what I want and not get fat! yippee.

So, this weekend, I termed getting back to my roots. Fellow blog reader Kate (of www.pankates.com, check it out, it's in my links) was in Clover, SC helping out with her parents Fall Harvest Festival. You mention any type of festival to the hus and he's all about it and is halfway out the door before I can put my shoes on. Saturday morning I'm all about sleeping late and Aaron let me sleep til about oh...8:26 am, but who's paying attention and he's waking me up because we've got to get ready to go to Kate's family festival. So we drive down to SC and arrived to what we thought would be a small affair. No way you guys, the Windy Hill Orchard is a big damn deal. There were cars lined up waiting entrance into the parking lot and people directing traffic and I was like WHAT????? Kate's been my friend for YEARS AND YEARS and I had no idea this festival she talked about drew crowds like this. So, we had a great time eating apple doughnuts and drinking apple cider and watching little kids chase around chickens and it reminded me of my roots. Okay, so I didn't grow up on a farm or orchard of any kind, but my childhood home had a barn in the back and I would always chase around chickens whenever I saw them and somehow that counts.

After we were done with the festivities of the morning, we drove back to Charlotte to make it in time to my hair appointment. For the past year or so I've been wanting to dye my hair darker but was semi afraid because what if I looked fugly? So, instead of doing the dye job, I just kept cutting it shorter and shorter to see how different I could look. Well, after years of being blonde and just feeling totally bored and now I can't go any shorter because if I do then I would look like Sinead, I decided to proceed with the dye job. I was SHOCKED when I first saw it and kind of freaked out because it was a drastic difference.

Here are people's reactions.
Aaron: "I like it!"
Mom: "It'll have to grow on me"
Dad: "I like it! The blonde was out of control"
Leigh: "Wow!"
Kyle: "Whoa, your hair is awesome!"
Brother over the phone and 2,000 miles away: "What's the big deal that's your natural color?"

So, I'm kind of on the fence about it. But, I'll post a pic for you to be the judge. Oh, I'm the one in the middle with the ivory shawl-y thing.


Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Results are in!

With a very impressive 18 votes, 88% of you think Spencer started LC's sex tape rumors and 12% of you think it was Justin Bobby. Thanks for participating in my poll and see you next time!


Monday, October 15, 2007


Dear Blog,

I know you all loooove The Hills and after tonights riveting episode I was inspired by Tony Ritz's polls that he sometimes uses and decided to put up a poll of my own. It is immediately to your left! Take a vote. This very important poll ends at 11:59 tomorrow night!


P.S. Lesson learned from The Hills, never make a sex tape. Amen and good night.

Saturday, October 13, 2007


Dear Blog,

You might have to stay with me on this one, because it's going to be a stretch. I really have nothing to write about and so I was looking through my photos trying to get some inspiration. I found this picture of Spurgeon and Gilleon and I laughed out loud. And I thought, if this picture made me laugh out loud, then maybe it will make others laugh out loud. And if it makes you people laugh out loud, then you can thank BellaFrench for brightening your day a little bit. Ahem.

You're welcome.

And I'll post a semi decent picture of them so they won't get mad at me for posting the booty bump one. Well, Gilleon and I look good but Spurgeon is looking a little caublanasian in this one.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend and I'll see you on Monday, with hopefully a better post.


Saturday, October 6, 2007

Times Like These

Dear Blog,

Gasp! Last night Aaron and I did something, we actually got cute, went out, had some drinks and went to a concert. Lately, we've been traveling so much and working so much that when the weekends roll around we are ready to sit our behinds on the couch and just be with each other and watch movies or America's Next Top Model marathon on VH1, whichever. So, I heard that the Foo Fighters were coming to Charlotte for an impromptu concert and I was like Aaron, dust off your flannel and Vans because we're going fo' sho.

Now, if you know me, you'll know I love music. I mean I LOVE music. People always ask that dumb question like, "if you were stranded on an island and you could only take two items with you what you would take?" Well, obvy, my answer would be: my Christian Louboutins and my cd collection. Duh. Now why my music collection? Whereas many people would say pictures, I would take music because music for me, takes me back to where ever I was in my life when I obsessively listened to an album. The good times and the bad. For example:

4 Non Blondes: First non pop album I ever bought. I remember sitting in my room when I was 12 years old thinking...wow, she just said the f word...should I be listening to this?
Smashing Pumpkins "Siamese Dream": Riding up to Snowshoe with my youthgroup when I was 14 and being in "love" with Gray Currin.
Tori Amos "Little Earthquakes": Awkwardness of middleschool
Any and all Pearl Jam albums: True album love
Modest Mouse and The Killer's first album: Falling in love with my husby

Why am I saying all of this? Because it's my blog and I want to! No, seriously, Dave Grohl is kind of a living rock n' roll icon. He performed with what many people say is the greatest band of our generation...I disagree, PEARL JAM 4 LIFE! boyeeee...and then after Kurt Cobain offed himself, he completely reinvented himself and went from being the long haired stoner slacker drummer dude to the singer/songwriter/lead guitar in the Foo Fighters. The concert was SO UNBELIEVABLY GOOD last night, I couldn't believe it. I mean, I knew they would be great but they far exceeded my expectations. Dave was so funny and just generally looked like he was enjoying himself and laughed and interacted with the audience, it was great. So, if they ever come near you, I highly recommend going to see them. Awesome!!!

P.S. I think my husby and Dave Grohl kind of resemble each other! Yesssss!

P.P.S. On a sad note, this week is one that has been permeated by death. Please take some time to reflect on how lucky we are to be alive and that life is too, too short so take time to live, laugh and love.


Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Simply Fuga

Dear Blog,

I know I totally ripped off The Fug Girls in my title but it was just too good to pass up. Don't tell them. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, go to www.gofugyourself.com and you will understand why these two women are my heroes. Well, I'll go ahead and tell you; because they are hilariously mean and you just can't beat the combination. I'm straying, so I will head back to the title, Simply Fuga.

I'm sure that most of you have seen the marketing blitz on Kohl's new line, Simply Vera by none other than the one and only Vera Wang. I'm all about being a budget fashionista but what I am NOT about is cheapening your brand. When I heard about Simply Vera I felt a little bit of bile rise up in my throat. Why Vera, WHY?? Why Kohl's? And do you really want to help people who can't afford your ready to wear line by selling a such a diluted version in cheap fabrics and in ginormous sizes to accomodate American womens accomodations? The answer is NO NO NO. If we can buy Vera Wang at Kohl's then what is there to dream for anymore? Not much my friends. The answer is NOT MUCH. Little girls dream of wearing a Vera Wang when they get married but they won't if you keep shlepping it at Kohl's. So THERE.

So, here's the sitch. Earlier today I find myself, AGAIN, in the quagmires of Hell, Independence Boulevard. I'm listening to some Ryan Adams and hoping that Jenny Garth doesn't get voted off of Dancing With the Stars tonight because I LOVE HER. As I'm driving down the road I see a Kohl's because of course Kohl's would be located on Independence. I think to myself that I need to pull over and check out this Simply Vera for myself. So, I do. As I put on my sunglasses and check to see if anyone I know is around, I exit the car and head into Kohl's. I brace myself for racks of poly blend and walk in. I don't even know where to start and feel like a fish out of water and am trying to blend in with the other Kohls shoppers and I don't think it's working and I feel a mild sweat break out on my forehead. Where in the heck is this stupid Simply Vera? I start to panic and get all turned around because all I see are racks and racks of rayon...and how in the heck did I end up in the kids section? Damn. I almost give up, when what do I see? The Simply Vera. Y'all, it was already on sale. How long has it been there? Oh, and it's all fugly. It was just hanging there all misshapen on the racks and it looked really sad and if I was Vera Wang then I would immediately withdraw and take my precious name off those tags because how EMBARRASSING. They make the clothes look semi decent in the ads because they do a lot of layering...pay attention to that the next time you see an ad. You can't focus on how crappy the stuff is made because they put everything on a skinny little model and she goes and plays in the forest. What ever. Just embarassing. I saw a lot of jewel tones, really big blouses, some gray...I saw one decent looking jacket but I'll be damned if I pay $120 for something at Kohl's. So...my guess is that there will be no more Simply Vera by the end of '07.