Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Seattle


insert a slower, melodic musical number here

Dear Blog,

Seriously, Aaron and I were in Seattle last week and he told me he loved me, and then I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship, and he said he would wait, but then he started to fall in love with my sister...Oh wait. That was this season's Grey's Anatomy, not my life.

My life is so boring compared to those on Grey's Anatomy. But I guess that's why it's tv. So, in reality, we did go to Seattle last week and still in reality, it was gorgeous! The weather was PERF, although it did rain one day and because I wanted to look cool I didn't bring an umbrella because Seattleites don't take umbrellas, obvy. They are TOTALLY used to the rain and their attitude is rain? what rain? while I am shuffling around trying to stay under the awnings. So, I still looked stupid. Darn. We stayed with our good friends Kris and Zoe and their two dogs Duke and Apple. They treated us well and thanks for letting us crash yo' pad.

Alright. Here's the big quest-i-on. I thought Halloween was supposed to be for dressing up..??? Or is it supposed to be for dressing up and looking like a two dollar harlot? When and where did the times change? Here's the sitch. We go with Kris and Zoe to a Halloween party and I'm so stoked about my costume. Who am I going to be you ask? Amy Winehouse. (if you don't know who that is, google exists for a reason) I chose this for several reasons, she's crazy looking, she's talented and this is a fairly low maintenance costume. I had to buy a beehive wig, some fake tats, some crud to make it look like I'm missing teeth and that's it. I had the skinny jeans, flats, wifebeater and liquid eyeliner. After I've already donned my AWESOME costume, and then I hear through the grapevine the party we are going to is a "SEXY" party? W.H.A.T.???? You have got to be kidding me? I do NOT look sexy. I look like I've been highballing coke and heroin for the past 7 days. So, we get to the party only to be greeted by half naked little 23 year olds who just blatantly stare at me.

Yes.

Not only do they look at me and ask me why I am fully clothed, they ask me who the heck I am. They didn't even get my costume!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH, that's what I felt like doing for reals y'all. Since you know I like to reinact conversations here is one:

23 year old ho: "um...who let the drug addled bad hair chick in?"
Kris and Zoe: "Um, yeah...she's with me."
23 year old ho: Looking me up and down and down and up "oh....who is she supposed to be?"
Me: "I'm Amy Winehouse you cliched 'sexy cop.' DUH."

Needless to say we did not stay at the party long. But, we did appreciate the invite. :)

Tomorrow is Halloween and I might try the Amy Winehouse again.

xoxo,
Alison

6 comments:

*jcg said...

amy winehouse. hahahahaha
i have never understood the whole "sexy halloween" costume thing either. had i been there i would have been in my stock cow costume.

we'd have been a pair.

Tony Ritz said...

It's about time you got some new content up!

prof said...

i was darth vader. when i realized it was a sexy party i just took off my pants.

iwentasspurge said...

HAHAHAHAHAH! STILL LAUGHING ABOUT WHITE SNEAKERS - AND HOW IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY!

Emily C said...

I heard Wino was a popular costume this year and I LOVE that is what you went as. I hate the whole Halloween is the one night a year a girl can "look" like a slut and it's cool....I had what looked like middle schoolers show up at my house for candy dressed way sluttier than at a playboy party! Where are the parents?? :)

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