Saturday, February 23, 2008

Hello. My name is Alison and I'm a Loser.

Dear Blog,

Obviously, I don't mean that I MYSELF am a loser but lately I've been losing things! Now, some of you may not know this but I pride myself on my impeccable memory and I never, ever, EVER lose things. I'm the girl who checks her purse 5 times to ensure her camera is in there, or iPod or laptop or whatever else I'm carrying that happens to be worth any money over like twenty bucks. But, in 2008 I've been losing stuff and/or forgetting things and it's really starting to grate on my nerves and make me feel like a literal loser. It all came to a head last weekend when I FORGOT my toiletry bag when I went to the beach and had to beg like a homeless person for everyone else's leftover or extra things. "Um...yeah, can I borrow your razor?" Whatever, so I started beating myself up over that. Well. When we were on our honeymoon Aaron bought me this ring.

It's a beautiful ring and I love it so, so, so much. I had been wanting it for a couple years and Aaron bought it for me as a surprise on the honeymoon! Cue doting wife; "isn't he the best?" So, since I had left my toiletry bag at home during the beach weekend I took my ring and stuck it in a pocket in my purse and left it there. On Thursday morning at about 8:25 (five minutes before I need to leave to go to the yoga studio) I decide I need to take my ring out of my purse for obvy reasons. Well, I look and it is not there. In a panic, I dump out the contents of my purse and it is not there. I then go shrieking around the house looking for my ring and I canNOT find it anywhere. The sobbing ensues here and I do the only thing I can think to do. I call my mom. "MOOOOOOOOOOOOM, I (hiccup) can't find my riiiiiiiiiiing!!!!"
"Um...good morning Alison...I can't understand you."
muffled sobs, "I can't find my ring that Aaron bought me on the HOOOOONNNEEEYYYMOOOOOOOOOOON"
After telling her the story that took twice as long because I was HYSTERICAL she just calmly tells me to not give up on it and clean myself up and go to work. Okay. I was all set to take the Vespa that morning (mental picture: me running around the house crying and talking to my mom with my helmet on) but I couldn't because I was in too fragile a mental state to get on Bertie, (her new name thanks to JCG). So I jump in my car and what is staring me in the face? My ring!!! It was in the passenger seat.

Have I learned my lesson yes? I must immediately go out and buy a cute small jewelry holder for my purse.
Oh, and when I get to work and am explaining about my losing streak to one of my coworkers she immediately said "Well, I guess you weren't supposed to have it in the first place."

Damn hippie.



prof said...

As i recall, you already HAVE a jewelry holder that you apparently don't use.

I think the real hero in this story is MOO.

Anonymous said...

You should get a job as a muse for david yurman...

charlsiekate said...

Let me tell you about being a real loser. I think you should see yourself as a finder. I lose everything. And I feel so guilty about losing things that I don't replace them for a very long time because I feel like I have to punish myself for losing it.

Last spring I lost my toiletry bag at a wedding. It had EVERYTHING in it. My ridiculously expensive eye glasses that I adored. My sonicare toothbrush. Not to mention the actual bag that I'd had since I graduated from high school and had so much sentimental value to it. The only thing it didn't have in it was my diamond earrings, which I often times store in said bag. But I've lost those before too. I lost one of them in my room at the sorority house and only found it on the day I moved out.

I've lost every scarf my mother has ever given me. Two digital cameras in the past four years. Pocketbooks, earrings (I'm the type that comes home from the bar with one earring in her ear. those are hard to relocate), I've even lost a contact while out in downtown athens and had to be escorted home because I couldn't see anything.

I've had to dig through the dumpster to find my trashbag when I threw my car keys away.

In the alternative that I don't lose it, I break it. Cell phones, glasses, laptops, ipods, you name it, I'll break it.

But then this morning I came downstairs at my parents house to take my medicine because I am dying of mono and I couldn't find the bag with all my medication.

Where was it? My mom had thrown it away. At least I come by it naturally.

BellaFrench said...

Prof: hence the word "cute" in said jewelry holder

Anon: would that give me free DY for life? I'm there baby

charlsie:i would literally DIE if I lost all of that!! i might have to pull a brit brit and check myself into the mental institush; props to you for handling it like a champ.

prof said...


thanks for reminding me...

bellafrench needs to add a digital camera to that list!

spuser said...

dang y'all. i leave my phone or my keys at home at least twice a week - but i'm too broke to be losing stuff like that. y'all must got good credit.

Anonymous said...