Tuesday, September 25, 2007

"Look into my eyes and tell me what it is you see..."

Dear Blog,

Nothing like naming a blog after a Bone Thugs 'N Harmony song and if any of you knew that was a lyric from a BTNH song, then props to you yo!!

So, in my last post I lamented the fact that a day in my life was nothing short of funny and today is just adding to the laugh factor. You see, today I went and visited a psychic. A real, bona fide, neon signs on the door with a big hand blinking on and off, psychic. I know you know what I'm talking about. You've seen them on the sides of the road...and this one was on the side of the road as well, a lovely little road called Independence Boulevard. Otherwise known as the quagmires of Hell.

Why did I go to the psychic? To sell them an ad of course! Do you think I would really want to go visit a psychic? Hells to the NO, they scare me. I don't want people telling me what my life is going to be like, that's up to me and God thank you very much. And second of all, just for clarifications sake, this was a call-in and it was my turn to chase after the crazy apparently. I normally don't call on those that read the crystals and wear weird scarves on their head. So, anywhoodle, she freaked me out as soon as I went in, all staring at me and stuff and I knew she was sizing me up so I tried to put on my best poker face, which is soooo hard for me to do. So, immediately she says, "You are a good judge of character." And I'm thinking to myself, "So you know that you're a crock of shit cause that's what I'm judging about you right...about...NOW." I just kind of smile and try to redirect the convo back to advertising cause that's why I'm there. But, she won't quit!!! Here's how the rest of session went;

Psychic: "You are from the north."
Alison: "I'm from South Carolina."
Psychic: "I am feeling that you are from the NORTH."
Psychic: "Well, you should move north."
Alison: "I did, I moved to Charlotte, and if I have my cardinal directions correct, then Charlotte is NORTH of Columbia, SC, where I was born."
Psychic: "Well, I'm thinking that your career will flourish in Washington, DC."
Alison: "hahaha NOT"
Psychic: "Well, you need to stop chasing men and start focusing on yourself. The right man will come. This time of your life is for you. Stop chasing the men, you are just running in circles."
Alison: "I'm married."
Psychic: "Well, you need to stop spoiling your husband. Why do you feel like you need to compete for his attention. He is just going to continue to take and take from you until you have nothing."
Alison: "My husband is so not spoiled, in fact this sounds like a convo you should have with HIM."
...chuckle, chuckle...this woman SUCKS.

I think after I continually shot her down time after time, she got the point that she could not read me. I'm that good, or she's that bad. Oh well, what to the EV. I left with a signed contract.



*jcg said...

dang i was hoping she pulled out a wegi board! (i still can't spell wegi. you get my gist.)

leigh said...

no wonder she needs to advertise...she's def not getting any referrals from clients!

Alison said...

yaaaaaaaaay!! A comment from Leigh!! Now this is progress!

Tony said...

Good post, Alison! I really like the sexy psychic drawing. Kudos to you on the sale as well, you're pulling some Blake from Glengarry Glen Ross, right there!

Blake: "The only thing in this life that matters, is getting them to sign on the line that is dotted!"

Tony Ritz said...

What? Now you didn't even respond to your commenters? Check out the updated suddenlystruttin!

BellaFrench said...

tony, you're too smart for me. I didn't understand your reference so I just ignored it...that's my motto. when you don't understand, ignore.

Emily C said...

I can picture you talking back to the psychic...only you could pull that off!

Tony Ritz said...

It's a movie quote.

Drew said...

i don't like psychics either. they are a load of croc. and i find it hilare that you totally called her out!

Drew said...

al, its about that time again...

faris said...

i can't believe you still got the biz

Anonymous said...