Tuesday, January 8, 2008


Dear Blog,

My first solid week of 2008 has been boooooooring. It's going by impossibly slow but I have a ton to do before Ron and I go to Vegas. Oh, what's that? True!!! We're going to Las Vegas this weekend!!!! Can you tell by the multiple exclamations that I'm a teensy bit excited? That was my Christmas present from the hus. In preparation for my trip I've been totally UN-FUN because I have to ration out my fun and I want to have lots of fun in Vegas. Does that sound weird? It is. I've been saving up all sorts of laughs, smiles and jokes for this weekend. So, if in the future, you see me around town and I'm like the most boring person you've ever met just realize I'm most likely about to do something fun and so I'm saving my fun energy for THAT instead of whatever I happen to be doing at the present moment.

Anywhoodle, even though Spurgeon and I are in a fight he gave me an idea for this blog post. When I asked him what I should write about he said "Just make something up." Which got me to thinking.

Do you ever get in a confrontation with someone and you can't think of ANYTHING to say that is smart, witty, and cunning to SAVE YOUR LIFE? And then afterwards once the scene has run through your head only 810,000 times you finally come up with the perfect thing to say? Why does that ALWAYS happen?

So, here's where the title of the blog comes in. You tell me if you think I'm CRAZY. I often think up confrontational scenes in my head that are purely fictional just so I can have the last word. Here is the latest. On Sunday Aaron and I are going to meet some of our friends for lunch. As I'm getting ready and doing my hair, I realize it is going to be a terrible hair day.
IN MY HEAD, the following confrontation ensues.


Alison and Ron enter restaurant and find their friends. They sit. Ron orders a beer and Alison orders water because she is off alcohol for the moment. They are laughing and enjoying some lovely eats on a lovely day. All of a sudden, Alison overhears the following;

"Ummm, that girls hair is the Posh Spice gone WRONG"

Alison promptly replies with a sneer, "Excuse me, this is the Bitch Spice gone RIGHT."

Rude redneck girl promptly turns white with fear from Alison's prompt response and cowers in her booth.

Seriously!?!!!! That kind of stuff goes through my head all the time. ALL THE TIME. It's like if I don't have real life drama then I make up drama.

So. You be the judge? Am I crazy?

P.S. If you have any recommendations on what to do in Vegas please write in.

Alison a.k.a Bitch Spice


*jcg said...

fighting with spurgeon?
obviously crahazy.

anyway, hooray for vegas. and letting out all those smiles and laughs and jokes. and lord knows, you best get back on the alkie if you're headed out there!

send your ibff a postcard.


ARE WE STILL IN A FIGHT? you have to learn how to share me...

and cussin' rednecks out in your mind wouldn't be half as crazy if you hadn't created your own alter ego who only wants to zig-a-zig-ahhh

Tony Ritz said...

The French have a phrase for that feeling of later knowing the proper and witty thing to say, they call it "le Esprit de Esclaire," or, "the spirit of the staircase."

BellaFrench said...

would it not be l'esprit d'esclaire?

Jkrez said...

Eric and I did Vegas for the honeymoon - I have a lot to offer on tour guiding. You must eat at Nine Steakhouse at the Palms and Zumanity is awesome. I loooooooove Vegas baby!

Mate said...

Hi Jennifer! and Mate! Leave it to blog to catch you up with friends. I am happy that y'all are going to Vegas...you did not invite us, though. Just kidding, preggy=no fun in Vegas. Why are YOU off alcohol? And will this last through your trip??

Drew said...

does tony ritz really speak French? Alison I invent drama in my head ALL THE TIME. Too funny!

Anonymous said...